Friday, October 13, 2006

Bend and Break......

As I sit here listening to this amazing cd that Audrey made for me full of some of the greatest songs from then and now, I really am contemplating a lot. One of the things that has been on my mind lately is friendship....

What really is friendship? Is friendship having some one to talk to during your breaks from class? Someone that you can gossip with or call on the phone?!? Someone that you talk to over AIM and maybe have a drink with on a Friday night when you are bored?

Honestly, to me that isn't what friendship is about at all. Honestly, I think those qualities are a great way to tell someone, "hey its been fun, but I definitely have no sorta attachment to you, and therefore I find it 100 percent okay to talk behind your back and even to make fun of you!"

How many times have you thought that someone was your friend... maybe even a true friend? While I do understand that people have different definitions of "friendship" --- and some people may think that a friend really is just someone to shoot the shit with, while I am getting old I have realized that this sooo isn't the case.

For example, is someone really your friend when they invite you to come to the homecoming festivities at your alma mater, and tell you that you're more than welcomed to stat at their place, and then you find out how they complained about you staying with them to a mutual friend?!? If you didn't want me to stay, you should have told me yourself, maybe?!? I would have understood, really.

Another example, you are a struggling grad student and you and a friend buy concert tickets to go see a show in Milwaukee... At last minute you both decide that you dont want to spend 10 hours in a car to see a concert and opt to sell them last minute.. You call the person that you have grown up next for the majority of your life.. explain the situation and they decided that they would love to buy the tickets. You work out the details, you (the poor grad student decide to send the tickets priority mail and pay not only for that but also delivery confirmation) your so called "close" friend says that they will mail you a check for 50 bucks the very next day. The next day you call and confirm that the tickets have been sent, and they assure you that your check is indeed in the mail. Ah, so the night of the concert comes around, your friends calls and claims they never received the tickets even though they were "signed" for according to the USPS... You feel bad until a week later you still haven't received your 50 bucks and realize that your "so called close friend" completely pulled a fast one on you! Way to go for actually thinking this person was trustworthy! What was I thinking?!?

Maybe even a "friend" is someone that will invite you over to watch grey's anatomy, tell you about their personal life, but at the end of the day will be the first person to tell everyone in your grad program what a selfish prick you are!

HAHA. honestly, with friends like that, what's the point?!

To me a friend is someone that you can talk to on the phone comfortably or even in person and you never once feel stupid.. especially when you tell them about your date the prior week and how maybe the person you were seeing tried to make a joke out of your penis.... or maybe a friend is someone that when you have problems will totally listen to alllll of them and never once bitch... but they also expect that you'll listen to their problems when you are done venting... Ah, maybe a friend is someone that you laugh with and you don't even know why you're laughing...

Im sure I can go on forever, but in reality I've realized that at the end of the day, a lot of people that I use to call "friends" are really nothing but "a distraction from the real world every day things that I do".. I only have 4 real friends. Thank you Kayla, Allison, and Audrey and Celia. I can always count on you at the end of the day to be a "Real" person and not some version of a real person!

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