nostalgic.

For the first time in a long time, I just enjoyed the weather and appreciated how beautiful Millikin's campus is in the spring. I am really not sure if I have ever done that before.. Anyways, I just sat on a bench and read the paper and listened to my ipod and enjoy the breeze. It was really relaxing and calming!

Ever since I went to Washington DC last Spring everything is different. I came back to different friends, different living arrangements, and a different routine. I'm less involved in campus activities, I live off campus, and I just keep to myself. My first two years here I always needed to be around people, even if I did not consider them friends. Who knows why... but I think when you are in college, being around people to eat with and share time with is always nice. This year, however, I have kinda enjoyed having my own room in a house and keeping my door closed and getting to really discover myself a bit more. I think about next year, being in grad school at a new school, and I have a feeling that this down time and sitting alone is going to turn into lots of library time and really really getting to know american politics and government like its my fucking job. Maybe it'll be good for me.

Every day I think about the things I have accomplished since I started college and I wonder if I have really had a true college experience. I studied abroad, I traveled, I got kick ass grades some semesters, I had my drunk nights freshman year, I worked...

I came, I saw, but did I conquer? Wow, I'm gay. Excuse me.

I also decided today that somethings are to just be left alone.. Sometimes we have to cut our losses, it's natural.

I also got like 10 American Politics books today from my advisor. He's getting rid of his WHOLe library it seems. He's off to a new school next fall. I'm sure they will in about a year from now be put to good use - that is when I decide to write my master's thesis.