So I may be on a negativity kick the past week or so, but I am just constantly reminded on how freaking unhappy I am as of late.
What is it that has made me feel this way? I am convinced that it is an accumulation of things... I can't pretend to be happy, I think part of me has done that for so long. Everyone sees this excited, over the top Ray, but that is not who I really am.
I just wish I was not in grad school, I wish I was not in so much debt, and I wish that I was just in love and going on with my life.
I have a friend that just got a new car, she's saving up for her wedding, and she has a real job as a nurse in a hospital. Another year just moved to Chicago and got a great job and is supporting herself. But here I am, big bad Ray who was going to do something great.... 50,000 in debt and unhappy and nothing to show for it. I'm usually not the jealous type, I had a great upbringing.. I've never done without.
I know what everyone is going to tell me.. I have to find a way to fix what is bothering me.. Blah, that is fine. Someone just take me out for a beer and be my friend. :(